At least I have someone..

So today I found out that my brother doesn't care about me. He asked a week ago if I was ok, I told him no and he promised to come see me the next day. He didn't and has kept promising to "come tomorrow" but in this case tomorrow never comes. Three days ago he asked what was wrong, I told him I didn't want to talk about it over text, just that I wanted to tell him face to face and said something about old demons resurfacing and that was pretty much it, after that he promised to come see me the day after. Again he didn't show and promised the day after. He didn't come last night, because he went out for a meal. He promised today. He said he'd be over when he picked my sister up from work, she came, he didn't. I text him asking him if he was coming..the response? "No i'm spending time with my gf and relaxing". I got very emotional because he knew I was upset and he kept putting me off, it completely changed my mind about telling him everything.

Wow, that was awkward. I got quite upset writing the first part of this post and so rang my mum and guess who shows up?! My brother and his gf! We chatted for a bit away from his gf and my sister, but his gf didn't leave us alone for long. He knew I was upset when he came, but instead he went on and on about how my dad doesn't make an effort with his gf. Shocker... he wonders why when she stops him seeing his family, takes money out of his account and buggers up his car insurance? But i guess in reality everyone in my family is hoping she is stopping him seeing us; otherwise he is willingly staying away from the family. But I suppose if he actually went home once in a while it would give my dad a chance to get to know her. Oh well, I don't know, or care for that matter. I've got enough going on of my own, and oh if only it was something simple like that; an actual clear problem with a clear solution: easily solved. I ended the conversation by saying that he should be having this conversation with dad.

On the other hand; my sister, the hero. She is amazing, the only one in my family who actually bothers with me because she genuinely cares, not because she feels she has to, or because she has some vapid issues with my dad that requires bitching about my dad to me. She is literally a savior, when ever I'm upset all I want is a cuddle from her and it seems everything will be alright again. And I'm supposed to be the big sister... that's why I'm working so hard at uni, so that I can look after them all in the long run. Its always been about them, all for them, my brother and 2 sisters. I need to look after them. God knows we need to stick together, especially after what we've been through.

Moral of the story?
Hang in there! Even at your darkest point there will always be someone there to listen; be it family, friends or people like Samaritans (link to the left of this post). For me, it is my sister; who is and always will be my hero <3 

Much Love

Panda Girl 2
xxxx