Loss of a loved one

Today is my wonderful Granddad's birthday. He would be 77. Sadly died, Christmas eve 2009. Worst Christmas ever. I was devastated. Still am to be honest. Spent the majority of the day thinking about him. All the good memories with him. He used to have the most odd sayings; swede = head, paws = hands, beak = nose/mouth. And odd little quips "funny peculiar or funny haha?" Always joking around, like a big kid.  On of my earliest memories with him is of me bugging him to let me help him water the plants in the garden with him. He was an avid gardener, always producing the most beautiful flowers, I loved going to their house when the flowers were in bloom.

This morning I awoke from a nightmare; always the same one. I was dripping in sweat and just couldn't get the images out of my mind. It was like reliving it. All over again. For the thousandth time. So I got up and went to the gym for an hour, then swam. Felt so much better for it. Then I went for a walk with an old friend and we just talked. It was nice to be away from the house, the triggers and everything for a while.

Not looking forward to sleeping tonight. I know because of this morning it won't be pleasant

I'm not sure there is a moral this time...

Much Love

Panda Girl 2
xxxx